We’re all different, they say.
You could be a banker, designer, nurse, engineer, musician, doctor. How we define ourselves makes us feel like we’re doing different things. Yet I see bankers solve humanitarian problems through innovation, designers save lives through building positive cultures, nurses who produce magic for patients, engineers who make art of their creations and musicians who peacekeep with their tunes.
The only thing that separates us are the words we use to describe our occupation.
Tags: career
There may be obstacles in building a product or your personal reputation. Who you consult when you encounter an obstacle is extremely important.
Obstacles like the rise of a competitor, getting fired by your boss or getting rejected by your colleague sends out a “No Through Road” message and sends most people packing home. But is it others who should decide when you’re giving up on something you really, truly want? If you were the one who decided that you wanted something so much, you have no reason to give up on it based on the reaction of the outside world, unless your motivation is based fundamentally on tangible gains that could easily be replicated by doing something else, in that case you should probably switch to something easier.
But if you’re in it for the love of the work itself or to have an important vision realised, then this core belief that first motivated you is your strongest weapon. The core separates you from the ones who are in it just for the glamour or paycheck because when the tough gets going, they’ll quit.
When in doubt, consult the core.
Easy is an illusion.
Paths of success like 101 ways to make quick money, earn $50 an hour by typing at home or follow the script and earn big bucks never gets us what we want. Going around looking for a shortcut usually ends quite bitterly. The right thing to do is usually hard – a challenge that lures us out of our comfort zone, exposes our weakness and forces us to make choices. “The dangerous thing to do, now, is be safe. The safe thing to do is be on the fringes. Safe is risky.” says Seth Godin. Security is gained by expanding our capacity through exposing ourselves.
A life that is easy is also numb and boring, so stay risky.
A missionary once told me that he confessed to repent his sins. I think he meant that he seeked forgiveness for his mistakes, because there is no way to undo a sin when one can never go back to the past; what’s happened is set in history. The only action left is to come to terms with former mistakes and rewrite the meaning we assigned to them. The only thing we have control of is the future through the action of now. Now is what writes history, and only now is the truly important moment in our lives. The past may be important, but only good to use to your advantage to do what you want to accomplish.
Tags: choice, self knowledge
A boy shows up at his lover’s door in the night, “I brought you a surprise”, and he hands her something. What is the difference between receiving in anticipation a gift of flowers or slab of bacon?
Obviously it is not only marginally different, you can eat the fatty goodness and a good slab probably costs more. But flowers represent a thought more than the gift itself, of symbolic value. The thing that decides what people care about and how to make people happy is – Symbolic Value.
A leather purse made by Louis Vuitton goes to $1000 and more. You can argue whether the price is justified, but a similar purse selling for $100 lacks the the symbolic value in lifestyle, rarity and exclusivity that LV has painstakingly associated with their product. The same applies to Ikea, not only selling furniture but a way of thinking that people want own a piece of, as a result Ikea make chest of drawers that are better enjoyed. The moral of the story is that there is an Art in enjoying materials goods.
The way to making people happy lies not in material quality of things we give them, but in the art of enriching the cultural and symbolic value behind material goods. Roses may be pretty, but the story behind them is equally important. Better still, if one could turn bacon into a sign of affection and courting, how much more loving is possible amongst everyday moments?
Growing up, it seems to show that many things do not turn out as they seemed, especially of people.
Our parents, once strong and ever-reliable, who guided for us from the start of time, can fall weak and vulnerable as we grow up to see their struggles and imperfections more clearly. As time progress, teachers and mentors show limit to their knowledge and wisdom; political leaders reveal their flaws; television personalities lose their mystic glamour; heroes we once thought perfect reveal their failings; lovers and beautiful strangers turn out not as they are perceived.
As worldly knowledge increase, all assumptions break, and all that is left is human – flawed and imperfect. Imperfect human beings, flawed so to be fascinating and unpredictable; imperfect and flightless on its own that it calls for the need for love. What separates sentient beings from senseless beings is the ability to rise above their personal gains to care for one another, and only then can one experience true happiness. Love is not easy, nor is it a birthright, that’s why it is so precious.
Tags: happiness, Imperfection, Love
The discomfort that stems from living a dream far bigger than yourself is always better felt than the boredom felt from a small, attainable victory.
One of the biggest myths about chasing your dream is that it’s about doing what you love all the time. It is not true. Behind every grand pursuit is sacrafice. Getting to that position you want to be in takes perserverence over essential obstacles that makes you cringe.
Then why do it? Certainly many people choose the safer option of finding a grind that feeds their bank consistently. It makes things predictable and easy to control. Life is easier that way. Others choose a more difficult life for a simple reason: a goal gives them something to do, something to think about, something that they truly own. Finding something, or someone, worthy of our sacrifice makes life worth living. There is nothing more painful than a life without a goal.
We can get stuck getting what other people want and ultimately deprive ourselves of what we ourselves want. I’m not talking about selfish desires, because that ultimately makes us less happy. I’m talking about climbing your own Mt. Everest in life, the things where you find your ultimate happiness in pursuing.
By “other people”, I mean people who don’t think in your best interst, who imposes an unhealthy standard on you either purposely or by accident. Other people are very good at telling you what you want, what you should do, or what you are not good at. They have boring lives, and they want you to buy into their way. So they tell us to work in a white cubicle, to keep buying things, to have the perfect body, to never take risks.
Sometimes, we listen, and life doesn’t get very interesting not getting what we want.
I once watched people jumping the leap of faith. It is an exercise performed on top of a very tall platform, where one is to jump into the open air, eventually the wire will catch you, but it takes tremendous courage to jump into a void. When the wind is breezing on a wiggly platform, it’s not as easy as it seemed.
I now think that’s the best exercise there ever was.
Life situations are always ambiguous. One can wait at a fork in the road, but there will never be full clarity. At one point, you have to jump. Job A or Job B? Vote for Candidate A or Candidate B? Pick Dish A or Dish B? Having to pick between similar options sometimes produces paralysis where people don’t pick at all. The reality is, differences rarely fully distinguish in decisions – that’s why they’re called decisions. So don’t be afraid to jump, and jump early. Make a decision, now. Jump like you mean it, because that’s where the thrill lies.
Tags: decisions
The slave did nothing wrong except expressed his defiance to the Emperor. He knows he could die, yet he looks the Emperor straight in the eye, completely unmoved, powerful in his motive. The Emperor hesitates, even intimidated. How could such lowly a slave defy his might even in the face of death?
Who is more powerful? The prestigious man with mountains of gold or someone true to his/her character not defined by wealth or status? That was the scenario in the Gladiator between Maximus, a general turned slave, and the corrupt Emperor Commodus. Maximus (played by Russell Crowe) is kind and able, draws power from his cause and speaks from his core, though backstabbed by Commodus and became the lowest of status, maintained his integrity and innate strength. His power is drawn from within, and any effort from Commodus to take that away is futile.
The story is as powerful as it is true. Viktor Frankl was a prisoner of the WWII Nazi death camps, where he survived working hard labour and occasional beating from guards on 10 1/2 ounces of bread and 1 pint of thin soup per day. The war took everything away from him, almost. “Everything could be taken away from a man but one thing”, he saids, “the last of human freedom – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”. His attitude inspired prisoners around him, and he helped others as much as his weak body allowed, gave speeches that inspired others to carry on. In the camp, he had more power than the his captors who have control to his life, because he had more innate freedom that even the most desperate of circumstances could not tamper.
Who we’re perceived is less important than who we are as a person. Take a step back to rethink our circumstances and our identity. How much are we allowing our circumstances define who we are? Is success something we’re given, or found within our actions? We succeed when we look inwardly for success. We fail when we lose track of who we are.
Tags: freedom, power, success, Viktor Frankl